I don't want that to happen with this blog, this was supposed to be my blog about love and growth and life.
About a month after my last post I conceived again. How odd.. how strange, that I would go from not really sure that I want another, omg I'm pregnant!!, miscarriage to knowing for sure I am meant to have another baby.
I'm currently 8 months pregnant and all appears to be going well. I've decided to be surprised at birth so I have no idea if I'm carrying another little boy or another girl. Most days I feel 'boy' but then I have distinct 'girl' feelings other days. S is pretty adamant that mommy is having a girl. I think either gender will be nice. :)
My miscarriage definitely changed how I view pregnancy, in good ways and bad. I have needed a little more reassurance this time around... I've relied quite heavily on my doppler. I didn't need that form of reassurance with my previous pregnancies but it's nice to know that there really is someone in there and that someone has a beautiful, strong and healthy heart. I don't listen as often now as I did before I felt movement...
I love the shape of my body while pregnant, I feel like a goddess. Round and full of life. Happy, growing, glowing. I'm practicing patience, it's a daily exercise for me because if there is one thing I'm lacking it's patience. I've never been very patient and I think that was my downfall with my daughter... I was not ready to go past the 'safe zone' of 42 weeks, I was not ready for her to decide to come in her own time. Even though I knew... she always has does things in her own time, even with an induced labor... she made me wait a full 24 hours before her arrival. Almost as if to punish me for trying to evict her before she was ready.
I hope to start writing regularly again... I always feel my best when I'm journaling.
My favorite pic thus far in this pregnancy.
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